Apparently, the ACLU is suing because of gerrymandering in Las Vegas, but I'm going to talk about skincare products.
You see, today I went to the dermatologist for my occassional botox. My doctor had barely shoved the needle into my third eye when he began telling me about a new product.
"That over there isn't even available to the public yet," he said, gesturing at a large orange pill bottle. "That's the fountain of youth."
"Yeah," I chuckled, unsure if he was serious. He has a tendency to ramble about skin science while working on me.
"It's called Telomerase. It'll make you live to be 150." Apparently, Telomerase is an enzyme that was discovered by some Nobel Prize-winning scientist that mimics the resilience of cancer cells. My doctor started taking the stuff a week ago, and he had already noticed "subtle differences." I didn't ask him what these differences were because he seems like the type to blurt out "bedroom stamina!" but I was a little intruigued. "Google it," he said.
After further research, I found that the activation of Telomerase makes some cells "immortal." Yikes, that's one scary word.
That's all I need - my cells chasing each other around inside me swinging swords and screaming: "There can be only one!"
ReplyDelete