Naughty and Nice: Two more options to diversify the Vegas economy

I'm constantly trying to think of ways to pull Vegas out of this downward spiral. As the one metropolitan area that has yet to see any economic growth indicators since the recession, we're still in need of help. I wrote a blog a few months in which I brainstormed non-entertainment ideas for Vegas economic expansion. Here are two ideas within the existing hospitality industry.

The Nice: Legalize Gay Marriage

This idea has been discussed quite a bit. If Vegas wedding chapels were able to perform gay marriages, then wedding sales would go up. This would create a trickle-down advantage for photographers, caterers, hotels, casinos, resorts, etc, that Vegas could cash in on. The only problem (which is a big one) is that our state constitution already has an amendment banning same-sex unions. Any movement in gay marriage legislation would take at least 5 years to finalize via the voting process. Not to mention, Nevada has plenty of rednecks and militias that would not easily stomach gay marriage rights.

The Naughty: Legalize Prostitution

This one has also been discussed in length, though not recently, and not as a way to mitigate our financial crisis. For those of you who don't know, prostitution is only legal outside the Las Vegas city limits. I used to think prostitution was kind of gross, but I recently watched the 80s documentary "Chicken Ranch" (Watch it free here:http://www.hulu.com/watch/155136/chicken-ranch ), which filmed the everyday lives of the young women at the brothel of the movie's namesake. After some research, I actually decided it wasn't too bad, and hey, I'm always a fan of regulation. Vegas hardly has a pure reputation as it is, and the sex industry would definitely bring more tourism.

I'd like to see either of these scenarios happen. While the legal same-sex marriage process is long, it doesn't look like the economy is going to bounce back anytime soon anyway. And then there's prostitution, which is happening right now, like it or not, so we might as well go with it and make it legal and safe.

The Next Big Las Vegas Industry

I recently listened to a radio segment that suggested the only hope for Michigan's economy is giving up its reliance on the auto industry and in favor of something new. That made me start thinking about the potential for Las Vegas to bring itself back by creating a new industry that would be more recession-proof. I know what you're thinking, prostitution IS recession-proof. But everyone knows prostitution is only legal outside the city limits. Here is a list of my predictions for what industry Las Vegas will transition to when the big guys realize Casino's can no longer sustain us.

1) Prostitution: See above. If it were legal, we'd have more jobs, more tourism, and there are already plenty of hotels to bring a John to.

2) Marijuana: Medical marijuana is already legal, which has spawned dozens of new hydroponics shops. It's an ideal crop since it can be grown indoors. The only foreseeable problem here is a lack of water.

3) Eco-tourism: We're surrounded by beautiful mountains and desert, and we're certainly worthy of the schlep. Imagine how good someone would feel after a week of digging up lawns to replace them with socially-responsible, sustainable rock gardens.

4) Fine dining: We already have better dining options than pretty much anywhere in the US outside of NYC. But I think we're still doing a shitty job advertising it. Plus, we could use better and more frequent food festivals.

5) Furniture: What ever happened to Mayor Goodman making us the furniture capital? We don't even have an IKEA yet. I'm not sure how people are going to haul their stuff across the desert, but it's actually a legit industry, so who am I to argue?

Are you supposed to be a cat or a prostitute?

Aside from New Year's and payday, Halloween is Vegas' favorite holiday. The already crazy populace of the city has an excuse to get a little crazier, to let it all hang out, and be completely unapologetic about it. We even have a strategically placed government holiday, Nevada Day, that acts as a buffer from work sometime around Halloween weekend.

I'm curious to see what this Halloween will bring. For those of you who haven't been to Fremont Street lately, the place has turned into a sad Hollywood Boulevard. A guy dressed as Freddy Kruger has been stationed there for weeks. In fact, entire brigades of unemployed people have taken to downtown, costumed and desperate to make money from a photo op. How we'll tell the professional Jokers from the amateurs, I have no idea. Chances are, both demographics will be drunk when October 31 comes around.

As fun as Halloween is here, a place where you don't have to be a kid to celebrate, it's pretty stressful. There's a lot of pressure for a woman to find an original, flattering costume that won't disintegrate when doused with booze. Ok, to be honest, most women aren't all that creative. The scantily-clad teenagers in the pre-incarceration Lohan flick, "Mean Girls," spoofed it best: You really can't tell a cat costume from the work uniform of an actual prostitute.

This year, all my personal costume inclinations have been too political, from "recession showgirl," who would don a headdress made of beer cans and old newspaper, to being the city of Las Vegas in a t-shirt that reads "15% unemployment," and "foreclosed," maybe I'm just not in the mood. I've finally settled on a flapper. After all, what would be more ironic right now than an outfit right out of the Roaring Twenties?